Clifton

Clifton brushed their bangs out of their eyes. "Meyer, Meyer, Meyer. Where you been, man?"

Meyer raised his hand to get Mickey's attention. He was gonna need another drink for this conversation, he could already tell. "Hey, Mickey, can I get another? This time a double?"

"Sure thing, kid," Mickey replied.

The hare sighed, really loudly. "College."

"That's a tidy answer," mocked Cliff. "You just blew town without so much as a goodbye?"

"Yeah, I guess I did," Meyer shot back.

"Well, glad you could join us back here in lil' ol' Hollyhawk," said the lemur. Mickey laid down Meyer's drink and a neat whiskey for Cliff. They took a slug off it. "How's the family?"

Meyer looked visibly agitated now. "Kiss my ass. What the hell are you on my fuckin' case for? I just got here."

"They're not kidding about rabbits," Cliff sighed. They rolled over and laid their head on Meyer's chest, drawing circles in his fur. "Good lord, longears"

"I'm more rabbit per rabbit than a rabbit," Meyer replied sheepishly.

The two of them cuddled in silence for a couple of minutes, Clifton listening to Meyer's heartbeat while Meyer held him close, trading warmth with one another. Meyer turned his head, lifting a hand to gently brush Clifton's bangs out of their eyes. He stared at the lemur for a little while, eyes half-lidded, enjoying the afterglow between the two of them.

"What're your plans for after senior year?" he asked.

"I dunno. Band's been sorta...getting more shows lately. Hard to do that and school at the same time. We got a gig down in Saint Harold the other day. I think this might be..." Cliff fake gasped, "a career?"

"A career, huh? Look at you, Mixter Ambition," Meyer giggled, kissing them on the cheek.

"Yeah? And what about you?"

The hare closed their eyes for a moment. "I really have no clue. I have an audition lined up at Berklee--"

"Wow! Berklee!" Clifton exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But I'm...I don't know. My parents want me to be a doctor, y'know, go the whole pre-med route. I'm still waiting to hear back from Johns Hopkins but I'm almost positive if I get accepted that's where they're gonna make me go."

"You should do what you want," Cliff said. "Whatever that is."

"I want to stay here with you," Meyer replied.

"You act like you leaving wasn't a big deal."

"I had to do what I had to do, Cliff."

"You could have at least fucking wrote, you know. I haven't heard from you for three years and all of a sudden you're just here?"

"What do you want from me?" Meyer growled. "I'm sorry I left."

"You're sorry in a lot of ways," Clifton spat. They took another very final slug from their drink, finishing it off in one hit. "Nice to see you again, Arn. I see you're keeping good company these days."

"Y-yeah," Arnaud replied. "I uh, didn't know you two knew each other. Meyer sort of...didn't ah, seemed like he remembered you."

"I never said that," Meyer interjected.

"Really, Brad?" Clifton seethed. Meyer's fur ruffled. He absolutely detested being called by his proper first name, especially shortened. "Why don't you tell Arnie here how we know each other?" they said in a low voice.

With Arnaud on his right and Cliff on his left, Meyer was starting to feel very boxed in. He reached for his cigarettes on a reflex, then took his wallet out and left it on the bar. "Mickey I'm goin' out for a smoke, okay?"

"Sure, sure," the bartender replied. Meyer swung around off his stool and half-ran, half-stormed for the exit.

"Tch. Typical Meyer-grade exit from a problem," Clifton remarked.

Arnaud, having watched this exchange for the past couple of minutes, was feeling pretty uncomfortable. After all, it certainly hadn't been his intention to start any trouble. "Hey, what's your deal, anyway?" Arnaud asked, innocently enough. "I've never seen you act like this towards someone."

"Arn," Cliff sighed. "Meyer and I used to be very close. At least, in my mind, we were very close. It ended abruptly. After he left for college we didn't speak. It...it hurt. Not sure what I did wrong to end up being cut out of his life like that. He didn't even text me. I had to find out he left from Paula."

"That seems unnecessarily harsh," Arnaud said. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Yeah. I thought I was over it but seeing him again. At least I got a chance to bitch at him, so thanks for that," Clifton said. "Teensy little catharsis." The lemur stood up from their stool. "Genuinely don't think I'm done yet, though. Can you watch my seat for me while I'm gone?"

"Cliff," Arnaud started, but Clifton waved him off.

The lemur threw open the door to the bar and hooked a hard right, heading for the smoking area. Meyer caught them out of the corner of his eye and frowned. "Look, Cliff, I don't know what it is you want from me but I'm sor--" he started, before Clifton kicked him swiftly in the shin.

"Jesus Fuck!" Meyer winced, grabbing at his leg with his cigarette-free hand. "The fuck was that for?"

"That's for leaving without saying goodbye, you dick," Clifton replied.

"I was trying to apologize!" Meyer hissed.

"Yeah, well, it's a little late for sorries now," Clifton said. "I loved you, you asshole. I thought that was pretty self-explanatory."

"Well you'll have to self-explain it to me," the hare said. "After senior year we just kinda stopped talking, so I kind of feel like not all of this is on me?"

"What the hell does 'I want to stay here with you' even mean to you? Why would you tell me that if you were just gonna leave?"

"I didn't get a choice, okay? I didn't get accepted to Johns Hopkins. My parents had to bribe them to take me and when they finally relented I got shipped off without warning, all right? I didn't get the opportunity to tie up my affairs nice and neatly."

"Oh, so I was just one of 'your affairs,' then," Clifton spat.

"No, Cliff, you were a high school romance, okay? And being queer in this town is hell, and you know that, and I know that, and it's not like I had good behavior to model, and I, I, I fucked up, okay? I'm sorry!"

Clifton pulled a pack of menthols out of their coat pocket and tapped them angrily before ripping the cellophane off and pulling a fresh one from the pack. "Yeah," they huffed, "well, it still fucking sucked, you asshole," they grumbled.

"You smoke now?" Meyer asked.

"Rehab," the lemur replied. "You replace one addiction with another. I'm trying to quit." They fumbled with their lighter. Meyer produced his Zippo and lit the flame; Clifton leaned into it.

"You ever try the gum?"

Clifton laughed. "Yeah, it fucking sucks, but it tingles. I used to wear the patches in my shoes but they didn't help either."

"Those patches look like a pain in the ass," Meyer said. "I'd have to shave just to use them."

They smoked in silence for a moment before Clifton spoke up. "Why are you even here?"

"College...didn't work out," Meyer sighed.

"What happened to your audition at Berklee?"

"Never happened," Meyer replied.

"So you're just...back now? Or what?" Clifton's tone had lost its edge and was now one more of concern.

"I don't fucking know, Cliff. I got nowhere else to go." Meyer, too, let his defenses down. "JHU was my one shot and I fucking blew it. And now I'm back here. And I don't know what to do next. I came back home because it's all I had left."

"Where are you staying?"

"With Arnaud, for now. Looking for work so I don't end up on the streets."

Clifton laughed. "Your parents would never let you end up on the streets," he mused.

"I embarrassed them," Meyer responded, "so it's possible. I haven't talked to them since I got expelled."

"Expelled? Jesus, man. What did you do?"

"Not important." This was one thing Meyer was determined not to share.

"Well..." Clifton said, snuffing out their cigarette on the bottom of their boot, "welcome back to rural hell, I guess. I'm not going to forget what you did but I'm willing to forgive you, for now. If I had the opportunity to blow town I'd have done it, so I get it. I would have said something first."

"Yeah, I know, I know. I'm...I'm sorry, for what that's worth all these years later."

"I really did love you, you know that? Hard as that is for someone like you to accept," Clifton said, "you can be loved, and you can love, too, if you try." Cliff walked back towards the bar's entrance, Meyer standing in stunned silence, cigarette with a good half-inch of ash hanging off it clutched in his right hand.

Christ, he thought to himself, finishing his smoke off. He chucked it in the direction of the ash barrel and missed. The butt landed in the parking lot's gravel. He disregarded it and went back inside.

Arnaud perked up, sipping from his big Sprite. "Are you, uh, finished?"

"Yeah. Cliff and I just had some stuff to hash out, is all," Meyer chimed.

"Sure, sure," Cliff said dejectedly. "We're all good now, for now," they said.

"So, Cliff, I was wondering--"

"Arnie, you're not about to ask me for a favor, are you?"

Arnaud cleared his throat. "Yes, I am. I was wondering if maybe you knew if the music store had openings? It's getting close to instrument rental season and--"

Clifton laughed, a deep and sardonic laugh from their gut. "Ohhhhhh no. No no no. That's me asking Meryl for a favor. That's too much, even for me," they said.

"C'mon, please? If you could check, I know Meyer would really appreciate it."

Meyer frowned. Arnaud nudged him and he managed to muster a half-empty smile.

"Meyer, hawking Hal Leonard books. Getting his chops busted by angry dads who don't want to pay for their kids' busted clarinets? Oh man, that is too much," they said, laughing. "A far cry from a university hospital, eh, longears?"

"Look, I don't even want to entertain the idea but I'm just...I need something to do," Meyer said. He almost sounded like he was begging.

"I'll ask, okay? I'm not making any guarantees. She's gonna love to hear you're back in town," Clifton laughed. "Yeah, we'll see how this turns out."

"I certainly appreciate it and I know My does too," Arnaud chimed in helpfully. Meyer went back to focusing on his half-empty glass.

"Yeah. Appreciate it." Meyer muttered.

"For you, Arnaud? Anything," Clifton said.

← Errands | Winding Down →